Making headlines is hard, but making fake
news is as easy as [russian letters]
Fake news comes from Macedonia, Russia, these
United States, and really everywhere
First you just have to pick a name
Make it something slightly off-brand like
ABCnews.com.co, Bloomberg.ma, CNN-trending.com.
the non-existent Boston Tribune or Empire
Copy their logos and graphics so you look
just like the real thing, and steal their
news stories too while you’re at it
fill it with random content, so it looks like
a news site what that actually is.
Do this by posting dozens or hundreds of wholly
plagiarized stories from real news sites,
even the ones you’re trying to copy
Isn’t this illegal?
It’s totally illegal, but it’s a civil infraction,
not a crime, so you’d have to sue them in
their home country, and that’s basically impossible
And if the copyright guys catch you, switch
to another of your hundred sites
or use a bot to rejuggle and repost them as
what Americans basically call gibberish
Swoop in for the kill
Whip up a crazy story how someone is a lizard
or prefers the company of goats.
Say the person is a rapist, a murderer or
mass criminal of any variety, and that charges
are coming down any day.
You’ll need to cite a couple high-level sources
who wish to remain anonymous.
And also cite some people willing to go on
record with their names with juicy, salacious
details, even though those people don’t actually
Get social media out there.
Use the hundreds of social media accounts
you made or bought on Facebook, Twitter and
Reddit, to forage for dippy smarts.
In the industry, this is know as trade-farming.
Clusterblast your lie far and wide with a
headline so preposterous that rubes can’t
help but like, share and Tweet the unholy
heck out of it
Round one is complete
While co-worker-1 is across the room adding
co-worker-2 goes onto social media personally
insulting and intimidating anyone who doesn’t
buy your bulishness
If they have to dox them, learning their real
names, addresses and places of employment
just to intimidate them, that’s fine too.
While you’re free to start dreaming up the
next impossible headline spun entirely from
whole touched cloth.
Does it work?
The companies that have done this don’t prefer
one candidate over any other, they just found
supporters of certain candidates are far more
likely to propagate ridiculous lies as the
Google and Facebook have agreed to crack down
on these sites, but only in ways that don’t
effect clicks or revenue,
so in effect, they’re gilded steeds from now
until the money dries up
If you don’t think critically, and don’t check
your sources before sharing an outrageous
“news” story, you might be
a useless parrier trader unfit to drive, let
Here’s where you have to hire one more full-timer
to sow the unreaped stalks of pre-harvest
You need hundreds of folk, or at least their
identities, to go out all over the web calling
EVERYTHING “fake news”
Don’t like a headline?
Call that fake news!
Don’t like a comment on social media?
Call that fake news too!
NBC retracts a story from an hour ago?
The more they pretend real news is fake, the
more it takes the sting out of their jellyfish
And that’s why they call it propagan-does,
instead of propagan-don’t!
Check out some of our past “how REALLY do”
you know, all kinds of great stuff
but really, the big thing is
we’ve got a movie coming up
a documentary all about me, Bobby-Joe,
the guy who brings you all this wisdom
and we need your help
we need some questions
so click on the link in the description
or here on the screen
depending where you’re seeing it
and thank you kindly and so darn much!