I have a brain tumor.


I just want to warn you things are gonna
get pretty ugly. Not because I’m gonna show you scans of a gnarly-looking tumor,
but because I’m an ugly crier, and I’m most probably gonna cry, so, you’ve been warned.
You’ve seen the title, you clicked the video, you know what’s up.
For about a year. I’ve had a
swollen eyelid on my right eye. Some of you even commented on it, and I always thought it was just allergies.
But these last couple of weeks,
I started having some pain in my eye,
and in the eye socket, and my doctor sent me to have an MRI scan,
and
yeah, last week I found out that I have a pretty substantial brain tumor.
Plot twist. Good news is that I’m probably not dying, and it seems like the tumor is non-cancerous and benign,
But it’s pretty big. It’s like the size of a golf ball.
I don’t even like golf, but I do like my brain a lot.
So I’m gonna have to have pretty extensive brain surgery,
and
I’m probably gonna be out for a while, and there’s all kinds of bad stuff that can happen. I can become blind on my right eye,
or lose all muscular function around it, I might also become paralyzed on the left side of my face,
I might start getting seizures. I might have a stroke. I might have spinal fluid leaking out through my nose.
I know.
You don’t think this video is gonna get sexy. But all of those things are out of my control.
And I’m trying to see all of this as like a perfect opportunity to practice not worrying about stuff.
Because they’re gonna cut my skull open and we won’t really know how it went until I wake up.
Being faced with something like this really helps put a lot of things into perspective.
I found out last week,
and I know the things I was worrying about then feels so small right now, Even though this last week has been
really, really, tough,
and I’ve been very sad. What’s crazy is that I also feel so freakin’ lucky
because I have this amazing family.
I have all these really really great friends, and an amazing team, and I feel so
supported and so freakin’ loved. So I’m like, we should really do this more often.
Just kidding.
Oh man.
I’m sorry that I’m joking about stuff,
but it’s really the only way I know how to deal with this.
But beside my family and my friends and my team I also have you, and
this is not a goodbye like I’m planning on becoming super healthy and being able to keep on building shitty robots and
making videos for you, but I do really want to say, thank you because
these last three years since I started my youtube channel have been the best three years of my life,
and I’ve gotten to do things
I never thought I was gonna get to do, and it’s all because of you. So grateful to have you and
it means
so much to me,
it really does. Thank you for all of your sweet messages and comments,
and if we’re like giving me high fives when you see me in the streets and for
supporting me on Patreon,
which is like gonna be the only thing that keeps us afloat
during all of this, and also for like sending gifts to my P.O. box and it’s – it just –
I –
appreciate all of you so, so much, although the day
I’m not excited about opening packages from you is the day I should really start worrying about myself.
So things are obviously gonna be a bit weird on my channel for a while. The surgery is scheduled for end of May, and
I’m gonna try and post updates on Twitter and Instagram, and also my TED talk is coming out May 9th,
which feels really surreal because it’s like a whole other world.
It feels like it was a very long time ago in the very, like, different life,
but I filmed a vlog around that and hopefully we can we can publish that when the talk goes up.
Also, if I lose my right eye, I really feel like I’d be a pretty rad eye-patch wearer,
like I’ve already started designing some eye patches.
Oh man.
Also, can I send my tumor to space? What if we cremate it? Is this too weird? Are these jokes too weird?
I have a morbid sense of humor.
Having a brain tumor is like a comedic gold mine.
#tumorhumor.
Also having a brain tumor is like the best raincheck of all time.
If your friend’s like, “oh you want to come over for dinner?”
You’re just like, hmmm, sorry, but I have a brain tumor. Can get you out of anything. You came here for shitty robots,
but all you get is shitty health and shitty jokes about shitty health, but it’s all I have for now.
I’ll see you in a while and everything’s gonna be fine, and even if things aren’t fine,
I’m gonna find ways of making it fine. I just want you to know that I love and appreciate you so so much.
Okay Byeeeee

100 thoughts on “I have a brain tumor.

  1. You know I am joining the party a little late, but can we talk about the people who dislike this video? Like forget you guys.

  2. I just wanna let you know that I LOVE and appreciate you so much! I literally watched two videos and I already know you're a pretty awesome person! High-five! Cheers!!

  3. Just met your channel cause of the Tesla Truck, and your way to handle all this situation was incredible. My brother found out that he has a brain tumor last year, it was like, 3 days between discovering and going into surgery, and even today, after the surgery and radiotherapy, and the tumor stop growing and everything is "right", he don't deal well with that. I hope someday he take this situation more like you. Wish you the best, you're clearly amazing! Greetings from Brazil!

  4. OMG — I just discovered your videos while lying here awake worried about waiting to hear about a mass on my brain stem. I too have a swollen right eye with a lump on the back of my neck

  5. I am a big fan of all your videos even though you don't create anything working but it looks sooo funny. And then I saw this video really it made me cry and i wish you a good health. Love your videos a lott.

  6. i only seen this vid and your channel today so obviously you made it because i got to see mad pickup truck. youre a champ!

  7. Hey Simone SPOILER ALERT I am from the future and let me tell you, you're gonna get through this strong and healthy and then build a Tesla Truck and then name it Trucla. So don't worry about it and chillax

  8. Yep! Came across Truckla & got me here, coincidentally. Your positve life outlook definitely encourages a lot of people out there.
    Get well soon!
    Hate tumor!
    Love humor..;)

  9. I had a brain tumour found back in January 18.. Had half of it removed a little while later. The brain surgery wiped me out, hell the side effects from the surgery were worse than from the tumour. I wanted to start a blog like this. I backed out because I had no idea how to do this great to see someone openly talking about this.. Thank you! 🇬🇧❤️

  10. I hope you are better now. I ve seen the truckla video it was great. Anyways cheers from Argentina love you 💙

  11. Came here because of Truckla. Glad surgery went well. You a very Blessed, strong and intelligent young lady. Keep on truckin. 😎

  12. Its hard to give a thumb up for a video with that title, but I gave the thumb for her strength, and the positive way she is doing right now after more than a year!

  13. I only found this channel because of "Truckla" but this is one of my favourite channels now and watching this video made me realise how great of a person she is

  14. Oddly enough this video helps me feel better about my upcoming non-optional spinal surgery. I’m glad yours went well ☺️

  15. I have just clicked on this and notice the 3.9K of No Good Low Down Leg Humping sons of bitches……. You really should be ashamed of yourselves. I pray your genitals are infested with a thousand fleas. Or Crabs. Tho and better still Gonorrhea. She survived and will go on to make shitty robots but you deserve to suffer.

  16. Dont be sorry for crying. Its human! And we(yes we because we love you) fully understand if you need to cry! We love you and keep on going. I know youre gonne make it💖

  17. This is a PSA people!:
    If something in your body has changed. Even if it is a small change, and even if you THINK you know what has caused it.
    Go. See. Your. GP!
    Please!
    It likely wouldnt have gotten as bad had she gone in and found this a year ago when her eyelid first started swelling!

    Anything that is off, or out of what you know to be your "normal", please please bring it up to your doctor. Its likely going to be nothing, but it could be a brain tumor!

    PSA over. So glad ur doing well now and done with your radiation!

  18. Youtube gets better every day. Ive just get survey about this video. "How satisfied were you with this video"😱

  19. Came because i was curious about Truckla… but fell in love with your humor and builds. Such a beautiful person all around…
    This world needs more nice and genuine people like you. You’re just the definition of STRONG! 🙏

  20. I know exactly how you’re feeling, my sister has cancer so I know. Be with your family and your friends!

  21. Simone…I just discovered you and your videos. Crazy, but I feel like I should apologize for not seeing your content sooner. I’m sorry to hear that your tumor is back, and I know I can’t make an impact for you…but you are awesome, hilarious, strong…and just amazing.

    And though I know it doesn’t matter…you are actually stunning when you cry. And I’m not just saying that because I couldn’t find nudes of you in Google! 😀👍🏻

    But seriously, I’ll give you 20 Vietnamese Dong for Truckla…or a couple dollars American…whichever.

    Cheers!

  22. I will find a way to f u c k up cancer!

    When I finish medical school, you will find cancer cells dead on the floor!
    No offence, I’m just trying to help!

  23. I watched this video the moment it came out. Returning now and comparing this to how far you've come is astounding. You're so strong Simone and you have so much power and wisdom that inspires all of us. We'll continue to support you through anything, no matter how big or small. Sending love ❤️

  24. You are so humble.. I know this video is old, but after watching Truckla I had to binge everything else. I've never really liked many youtubers or even bothered with commenting, but you are such an amazing person. I really enjoy this channel.. it's so much more than I expected. You really do help open other people's perspectives as well. I always feel as if I'm not good enough to do the things I want to do, but you've shown me otherwise. Thanks for being awesome and sharing your thoughts, ideas, and life with us. It's not easy being in the limelight but you do it so gracefully.

  25. Hola Simone. Acabo de ver tu comercial del tesla y la transformación desde auto a camioneta y encanto. Ojalá tu creación sirvar de inspiración para las automotrices. Qué hermoso grupo de amigos tenes. Tu sentido del humor es fantástico al igual que tu forma de enfrentar tu enfermedad. También me encanto la lámpara que hiciste con la máscara que usaste cuando te hicieron radiación. You are fantastic. My best wishes to you always. I hope you heal completely and that the tumor never returns.

  26. Are you aware that you could be a robot? You will have to remove that chip and your body may not survive. if you donate me all of your money maybe I can extract that chip for you and plug it into a computer so I can resurrect you again.

    major question for robot girls; can the other guys hack you into performing xxx acts?

    Roboslave

  27. A little over a year later your converting a Tesla into a truck and your usual happy go lucky making ways. All is good….still I hope.

  28. Thank you for being so honest and frank. I admire the way you are dealing with this and I hope you will be around for a long time to come.

  29. I love, love, love, love, the gift of perspective. (fist bump)

    thanks. i just wedged/laughed cantaloupe into my nose over the gold mine comment

  30. Love you so much, be strong and we are all looking forward to seeing you back in your awesome action again xxxx

  31. How can you call this an ugly video in the beginning just because you're gonna cry in it? it's beautiful, it's sad but it's beautiful
    Glad that you're well now

  32. Simone: ever since i started watching your videos, i can't seem to able to stop. any updates on the truckla?

  33. 🙏🙏🙏 have watched the vid Truckla. And ended here. Started watching loads of what youve done. Have some cathing up to do! Hehe. Good thoughts from me! And no… not a ugly cryer! 😉

  34. I also was given 5 weeks notice of Cancer and a Surgery Date.
    I also was told there maybe possibilities of potential various outcomes,
    I also had your straight up acceptance plus the off kilter humour.
    I also hope things are going as well as can be expected,

    Ps. I've only seen 1 other video that you are in ' Physics Girl – Which tank fills first. '
    Now the real question….." What drew me to watch you after such a small part in the other video ! ? "

  35. I remember seeing the news last year and I just cried and cried and cried. Now I’m looking back at these videos and crying because of how happy I am that you’ve recovered and grown. You’re an amazing and beautiful soul and I cannot put into words how much of a hero you are to me.

    My older cousin has had several brain tumors throughout his life. His first one was when he was 11. Kids at his school were bullying him for his head being shaved. Years later he’s left with only part of his brain. Deaf in the left ear, paralyzed on the entire left side of his face and missing the left side of his sinus cavity. He took my to my first father daughter dance when I was a Girl Scout and only got a picture with me because of how much I want it, even though he thought he looked like a monster. I’ve never cherished a picture more. Ive never met a kinder or gentler soul in my life. He’s getting ready to go back soon for more surgery that will leave him completely deaf, which might just put him out of his career. The damage of brain tumors, cancerous or not can be catastrophic and completely change every aspect of your life.

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