I just want to warn you things are gonna
get pretty ugly. Not because I’m gonna show you scans of a gnarly-looking tumor,
but because I’m an ugly crier, and I’m most probably gonna cry, so, you’ve been warned.
You’ve seen the title, you clicked the video, you know what’s up.
For about a year. I’ve had a
swollen eyelid on my right eye. Some of you even commented on it, and I always thought it was just allergies.
But these last couple of weeks,
I started having some pain in my eye,
and in the eye socket, and my doctor sent me to have an MRI scan,
yeah, last week I found out that I have a pretty substantial brain tumor.
Plot twist. Good news is that I’m probably not dying, and it seems like the tumor is non-cancerous and benign,
But it’s pretty big. It’s like the size of a golf ball.
I don’t even like golf, but I do like my brain a lot.
So I’m gonna have to have pretty extensive brain surgery,
I’m probably gonna be out for a while, and there’s all kinds of bad stuff that can happen. I can become blind on my right eye,
or lose all muscular function around it, I might also become paralyzed on the left side of my face,
I might start getting seizures. I might have a stroke. I might have spinal fluid leaking out through my nose.
You don’t think this video is gonna get sexy. But all of those things are out of my control.
And I’m trying to see all of this as like a perfect opportunity to practice not worrying about stuff.
Because they’re gonna cut my skull open and we won’t really know how it went until I wake up.
Being faced with something like this really helps put a lot of things into perspective.
I found out last week,
and I know the things I was worrying about then feels so small right now, Even though this last week has been
really, really, tough,
and I’ve been very sad. What’s crazy is that I also feel so freakin’ lucky
because I have this amazing family.
I have all these really really great friends, and an amazing team, and I feel so
supported and so freakin’ loved. So I’m like, we should really do this more often.
I’m sorry that I’m joking about stuff,
but it’s really the only way I know how to deal with this.
But beside my family and my friends and my team I also have you, and
this is not a goodbye like I’m planning on becoming super healthy and being able to keep on building shitty robots and
making videos for you, but I do really want to say, thank you because
these last three years since I started my youtube channel have been the best three years of my life,
and I’ve gotten to do things
I never thought I was gonna get to do, and it’s all because of you. So grateful to have you and
so much to me,
it really does. Thank you for all of your sweet messages and comments,
and if we’re like giving me high fives when you see me in the streets and for
supporting me on Patreon,
which is like gonna be the only thing that keeps us afloat
during all of this, and also for like sending gifts to my P.O. box and it’s – it just –
appreciate all of you so, so much, although the day
I’m not excited about opening packages from you is the day I should really start worrying about myself.
So things are obviously gonna be a bit weird on my channel for a while. The surgery is scheduled for end of May, and
I’m gonna try and post updates on Twitter and Instagram, and also my TED talk is coming out May 9th,
which feels really surreal because it’s like a whole other world.
It feels like it was a very long time ago in the very, like, different life,
but I filmed a vlog around that and hopefully we can we can publish that when the talk goes up.
Also, if I lose my right eye, I really feel like I’d be a pretty rad eye-patch wearer,
like I’ve already started designing some eye patches.
Also, can I send my tumor to space? What if we cremate it? Is this too weird? Are these jokes too weird?
I have a morbid sense of humor.
Having a brain tumor is like a comedic gold mine.
Also having a brain tumor is like the best raincheck of all time.
If your friend’s like, “oh you want to come over for dinner?”
You’re just like, hmmm, sorry, but I have a brain tumor. Can get you out of anything. You came here for shitty robots,
but all you get is shitty health and shitty jokes about shitty health, but it’s all I have for now.
I’ll see you in a while and everything’s gonna be fine, and even if things aren’t fine,
I’m gonna find ways of making it fine. I just want you to know that I love and appreciate you so so much.