All right. This weekend, the news, uh,
Congress actually finally voted on some
impeachment thing and that’s kind of
important, but we don’t care. So here’s
what’s going on in the news today.
here we go.
Conor McGregor pleads guilty to assault
in an Ireland bar after he punched a 75
year old man who refused to drink his
brand of whiskey stated that He only
drinks good whiskey and oh. Here we go.
Jeffrey Epstein did not kill themselves.
A New York high school football coach
has been suspended for running the score
up while playing an undefeated opponent.
Now that’s the important part here.
The opponent was undefeated. You never
know when they’d come back and win.
But here’s the deal. He was
suspended. The score was 63, to, 13.
That’s all. And Jeffrey
Epstein didn’t kill himself.
18,000 people around the globe
have signed a petition demanding,
demanding to be able to drink
the juice, not the OJ kind,
but the bone juice from
a tomb found in Egypt.
They just had three run of
the mill soldiers in it.
Not even like a Pharaoh or either have
a royalty or religious leader, anything.
Just three run of the mill
soldiers buried in this tomb.
Bone juice was used. So I’m assuming
they were from the Egyptian Navy
and Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself.
Always has removed the feminine symbols
from its feminine hygiene products,
stating that not everyone
that uses them is a female.
I am relieved by this because now I can
openly shove their tampons and not feel
weird about it. You guessed it,
Jeffrey Epstein, he didn’t kill himself.
Ex Starbucks regional manager, uh,
is suing the company claiming that he
suffered discrimination against white
people. Well, if that’s true,
that’s awfully terrible.
Almost as bad as Jeffrey
Epstein not killing himself.
Sad day in politics. My friends
once democratic darling Beto O’Rourke
has removed himself from the presidential
race. I just,
I need a minute.
I’m not sad that he dropped out
and then he might not be president,
I already sold my AR-15 to the local
police department and I didn’t keep the
And I’m also pretty sure that
Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself.
wrap this up.
New York city mayor bill de Blasio
just come out and says, you know,
something doesn’t fit in
the Epstein death. You know?
It’s almost like he’s trying to tell
us that Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill
himself. All right? Every one
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